Surrendering myself, my thoughts and my desires is what I needed to do. I knew that, and I had been praying constantly about it, “Make me vulnerable, and overtake me, Lord. I want to give my every move to you. I need Your help, I need You to guide me.” I wanted to be completely focused on God, not allowing any worldly things to distract me. I found myself struggling, I desperately wanted that focus but I found it was easy to escape to the gym or with friends when I didn’t know how to fill the empty spot. Because of my lacking efforts my relationship with God stayed where it was. When I didn’t hear God telling me what to do it left me frustrated. I didn’t have doubts, I just didn’t understand why. God never fails, and this time was no exception.
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It was time for our youth group to venture down to Nashville for our mission trip. Our youth group volunteered at vacation bible school, and we worked at the Second Harvest food bank. We also had ATL (Ask The Lord) time, which is really what hit home with me. It was exactly what I was looking for. This was an opportunity for me to completely and totally detach myself from the world. To learn new ways to talk to God, and invite the Holy Spirit in, it enriched my relationship with God completely.
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To sit in silence, hushing the voices of myself, the world, and the enemy- it was me and God alone. It was an opportunity for me to talk to God, and allow him to talk to me. Even though it wasn’t an audible voice, it was the best thing to happen to me because it showed me that their are many ways God communicates with us, we just have to be willing to receive his word. It may not come how we are hoping or expecting, so we have to be prepared to accept the way He is communicating with us. There was no reason to have this feeling of frustration because God communicates to us all in different ways. After ATL I was overwhelmed with a feeling of complete and total serenity, something I hadn’t felt before.
Allowing God to take control and work through me opened my eyes. I could see him working in each and everyone of us. The way the youth loved the kids, and the way the kids received and gave back the love. I could feel Him healing broken relationships. I could see Him in the new bonds and friendships we made throughout the week. We worked in conditions that caused us to sweat like crazy, get down poured on, and work in an ice cold freezer. However, if you would only see the way we worked you would see that we were all still having the time of our lives. We were getting to serve our God, and that is something to smile about. No matter what condition we were but in for the day, there was nothing but ambition put into everything that we did.
This feeling was refreshing, one that I couldn’t bear the thought of losing. I wanted to cry thinking about coming home, because I was afraid of losing it. That’s when I realized that it has been put in mine and our youths hand to show what we found while we were there. To show what it means to serve God, and trust in him always. When you welcome the Holy Spirit into your heart and submit to him completely, is a feeling I can’t begin to explain. All I know is after I had my fear of coming home, I couldn’t wait to show everyone that we can find the same feeling here.
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It’s time to bring home what I have learned. It doesn’t stop or go away just because I am home. Instead of letting home bring back a comfortable routine, let us bring it the unconditional love of God. It may mean stepping outside our comfort zone, and experience something new. Let us show what it is to serve and live out His Will, not ours. Surrendering yourself can take a scary step forward, but it’s not one you’ll ever wish you hadn’t taken.
